Last weekend, my mother and I had a 100th birthday party. When I’ve first said that sentence to people, the concept has been met with some puzzled looks. In July (as you may recall), it was my mum’s 70th birthday, and in two weeks, I will be turning 30 — hence the 100th.
Neither of us have celebrated our birthdays in as big a way before, but we decided to really go big this year. I saw it as less of a celebration of my birthday really, and more of a celebration of my mum and the life she has made in the UK over the last 50 years.
We had the best day, with our loved ones and favourite people all together in one place, all knowing us from completely different contexts, yet talking to eachother and finding surprising things in common. Our oldest guest was 96, and our youngest guest just turned 1. My mother’s over-60s dance group, Bromley’s Slo-Mo dancers, did a surprise performance — including a line dance to Texas Hold’em, which was iconic.
I made two big collage boards of our old photographs, including some of my mother as a teenager in Malaysia that I hadn’t seen before. My friend Becky illustrated our guest book with hibiscus flowers, and people wrote messages inside that later made us cry. We created a deliberately devilishly hard quiz (you can have a go here) with a prize for our guests — my friend Joanne won, but she maybe had an advantage as we’ve known eachother since we were four.
We always wanted food to be part of the day. We made chicken satay and loh bak representing Malaysia, and asked our guests to bring a national dish of their choice. They truly delivered. We had dishes from Kenya, Hong Kong and Morocco; beef patties and sausage rolls, smacked cucumber salad and saltfish fritters, za’atar manakish and pineapple buns. (Yes, we’re blessed with many great chefs among our friends).
In lieu of birthday presents, my mother and I suggested donations to Medical Aid for Palestinians and the Voice of Domestic Workers. We also held a raffle to raise funds for the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity, which supported my godfather Frank Nolan for many years before his death in April 2024. Thanks to our generous guests (and my friends who had the raffle responsibility thrust upon them), we raised £500 for Frank’s memorial fundraiser. You can read more about Frank on this JustGiving page, which will be open for donations until 1 November 2024.
If all of this sounds like a big effort, it’s because it truly was. I have never produced a personal event of this size, hosting more than 100 people before. Although it was hard work and a lot of running around, it was really worth it.
The main reason I wanted us to go big this year because I’m becoming increasingly aware that life can be short and fragile. I am so grateful that my parents are in their 70s and are fit, healthy and mobile. But as I age, those who I thought would be around forever are not. Those who I thought would celebrate this occasion with us cannot. I think my mother feels the same.
It’s why milestones, although beautiful, can sometimes be bittersweet. Just before people were due to arrive, my dad passed me Jonny’s watch to wear. He also did the same thing when I graduated from university. I think it is our quiet, shared acknowledgement that my brother is present with us in his own way during life’s big moments.
I wanted to dedicate a bit of space in this newsletter to thank our amazing suppliers — and please, take this as a recommendation for them if you’re considering hosting a party or event!
Studio Z were a brilliant venue and really supported us with the event planning. It’s under a railway arch in Brixton, and there’s a beautiful indoor/outdoor feel to it (as well as crucially, a kitchen).
The amazing Joyce Mak documented the day — especially important as I literally took one video and that was it! I cannot recommend Joyce enough as a wonderful event photographer who makes people feel at ease.
Sueperlicious Bakery provided us with our delicious pandan birthday cake and desserts — an assortment of kuih talam, kuih lapis, and pandan blondies. Yum!
Thank you to all my friends who I roped into helping out: Kate, Onis, Pascalle, Kieran, Tom, Becky, Sue and Rosanna in particular. And to everyone who came, brought food, and was there with us — we are so, so grateful to have celebrated our 100th birthday with you.
Three Leaves
Tomorrow evening, I’m heading over to the Wellcome Collection for the private view of Hard Graft, a new, free exhibition exploring the experiences and histories of underrepresented work and labour, and its profound impact on health and workers' rights — featuring my friends and colleagues from the Voice of Domestic Workers! Hard Graft is open to the public from 19 September until 27 April 2025,
FatBoy Zine is, in founder and my friend Chris’ words, “a greedy attempt to document a small part of Asian food and culture” — which I love. It was lush to celebrate the launch of the zine’s fifth issue, which is Taiwan-themed, last week at Tenderbooks near Leicester Square. Congratulations Chris and Emily — follow FatBoy here to find out more (I’m definitely going to be trying to copy this pineapple cake recipe).
On the note of recipes, I had a lovely trip over to Sadeh Farm to visit Niellah at the weekend, where we picked a technicolour load of chard. I remembered
shared a recipe for chard and anchovy pasta in a recent newsletter and made it as soon as I got home. Delicious.
And updates from me
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been working with the Migration Museum to prepare for the launch of their new exhibition, All Our Stories: Migration and the Making of Britain. All Our Stories brings together highlights from the museum’s exhibitions over the last decade, and is truly a beautiful and nuanced exploration of theme relevant to all of us. Read more in AFP’s and the Big Issue’s coverage, and listen to the Museum’s Artistic Director Aditi speaking to the BBC here.
I really enjoyed speaking to the art and architecture collective bafalw for this piece in The World of Interiors on their use of public space and community-friendly design in South London. Their new exhibition, Made Without Permission, is on until 22 September at Staffordshire St in Peckham.
For East and South East Asian Heritage Month, I’m collaborating with MilkTea Films for a fab panel alongside Nicole Chui (representing Baesianz FC), Elaine (representing Eastern Margins) and Yi Wang (representing Queer East). Keep an eye on MilkTea’s Instagram page for more details and updates.
Thank you as always for engaging with Ginkgo Leaves. I may potentially back in your inbox before two Tuesdays’ time (but not making any promises to be beholden to!). Until then, take care,
Suyin x